WHAM! That’s how it feels to step out of Changi airport into the cruel, oppressive humidity of the Singapore afternoon.  Like you’ve been slammed by a giant, swinging door.

I’d like to take a couple moments to rant about airport security.  It is not okay for someone to be looking at my naked body so that I may board an airplane!  I had no idea that some strange TSA agent would be able to see my whole body when I stepped into the new “body scanner” at the security line at the airport in Raleigh.  Did you guys know about this?  They can see EVERYTHING.  I mean, is this really necessary?  I felt like I was in that movie, Airplane.  Next time I am going to wear pasties.  Or paint a message in metallic nail polish across my stomach.  Something like, “I see you looking, pervert.”

Furthermore, it is not okay to tell me “mmm, you smell good” before you give me a pat-down.  That’s right, I’m talking to you, London-Heathrow security lady!  It’s weird enough that I’ve never met you and already you’re touching me in public where I don’t even touch myself.  So please, let’s refrain from commentary.

The same goes for you, Italian man at Amsterdam-Schiphol: winking as you watch security search through my bag, also inappropriate.  Keep your eyes off my clothing and to yourself, per favore.

Whew, good to be back in Singapore.

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