Someday I’m going to make a big book of all the absurd signs I see in Singapore.  I’ll call it “Chew Before You Swallow” or “After You Move Your Left Foot, You Should Move the One on the Right.”  Chapter 1 – How to wipe your ass.

Step 1: Find the toilet. The folks at NUS would appreciate if you didn’t pee on the wall, but rather that you made your way to a designated bathroom.

Step 2: Use the actual toilet. That’s right – if you successfully navigate your way to the toilet, make sure you pee IN the toilet.

Step 3:  Use toilet paper. If possible, please time your visit to the toilet in conjunction with the official Time Table of Toilet Rolls.  When you are finished with the toilet paper don’t eat it, don’t sniff it, don’t hang it on the walls.  Place it in the ‘rubbish bin’.

Step 4: Wash your hands.  Not your feet. Unless you failed to adhere to step two.  And then you should definitely wash your feet.

Chapter 2 is forthcoming…