How do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Singapore like a true American? [pronounced “A-MUHR-ican”]

First you find a Turkey. Don’t worry – there are 7,000 Americans in Singapore and Cold Storage has prepared accordingly (thanks, researcher Crystal)!

Next, you should invite all the Americans you know (of the 7,000, you’ll probably know 10). Plus invite everyone else you know. And then tell them it’s OK to bring friends. Also, you should invite at least one stranger.

Basically, your house should look like the United Nations.

Once you realize how many people you’ve invited, you’ll probably want to panic. It’s OK – there’s a solution: make some Chicken Marabella.

An aside: when you realize the chicken still has a head, feet, feathers, and all its innards, don’t call your mother screaming (oops hehe). Also, don’t name the chicken. (poor little George…)

You’ll inevitably freak out the night before. This may involve pacing around the apartment, chattering incessantly, and getting very little sleep. Make sure you have the greatest roommates ever (je vous aime, S & M!) and you know 2 amazing people like this who will calm you down:

Don’t attempt to prepare alone. Try to enlist the help of some lovely, feisty Singaporean and South African ladies. Do you think mashed potatoes and stuffing make themselves?

Ideally you should invite a professional chef to this little shindig so someone can carve your turkey. It’s okay if the professional chef is British.

Warning: If you invite pretty French girls, you’ll want to keep an eye on the Englishman.

Eventually you’ll realize that you have enough food to feed an army. This means you’ll want to make sure people eat as much as possible.  Sentimental toasts, guilt trips, puppy eyes, and force-feeding are acceptable forms of coercion.

Your work is only done when you’ve given your guests so much food that they need to unbutton their pants. Bonus points if they undo the zipper.

And just when you think you might explode, continue by eating copious amounts of pecan pie, pumpkin pie, cherry pie, and draining all wine bottles in sight.


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