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While in Malaysia last week, I decided to try Ipoh White Coffee.

I know what you’re probably thinking as you look at the picture, and I will tell you that I too was  surprised (and slightly bummed) that the coffee was not actually white.

According to my source of knowledge for all things in the world everywhere (wikipedia), “white coffee” is a literal translation from its Chinese name, 怡保白咖啡. I have NO idea what that means.

Essentially the beans are roasted with palm-oil margarine (don’t tell Green Peace) and the resulting coffee is mixed with condensed milk.

Verdict: Way too sweet for my taste buds, although the kaya toast I ate with it was dee-licious!

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Man vs. Orangutan? My money’s on the orangutan. Here’s why…

You can’t see Orangutans in the wild anywhere in the world except in Borneo and Sumatra (Indonesia) so J and I took advantage of our location and went to the Semengoh Wildlife Rehabilitation Centre right outside of Kuching, where you can see orangutans rehabilitated back into the wild. Outside of the centre they’re facing extinction due to habitat destruction and “human disruption.”

While I appreciated the unique opportunity to see the orangutans – I must admit I spend the better part of my morning observing the far less intelligent species: the homo sapien. No, I’ll reclassify: the homo stultus (subspecies: touristus).

Folks – when the park guide stops you before you enter the sanctuary (read: not a zoo, there are NO fences here) and gives you the following information:

  • Remain quiet at all times.
  • The orangutans like bags because they know they carry food.
  • Do NOT eat or drink in front of the orangutans.
  • A man went to the hospital on Friday because he tried to fight an orangutan for his bag.
  • If your baby starts to cry – “run” it out of the feeding area.
  • If an orangutan is chasing you, run into an open area.
  • Do not back into a corner. Also – do not freeze. They know you are not a statue.

take heed. J and I were properly scared, but it seemed the park ranger failed to effectively communicate his message to the 30 other fools in the group.

Exhibit A: Observe the homo stultus touristus in his natural habitat – communicating to his mate via mobile phone (ringtone: horrific) while his offspring clanks around the wooden planks in her turquoise kitten heels. To his left, a female homo stultus touristus feeds her offspring apple juice from her Louis Vuitton purse while behind him an asinine woman weakly pleads with her screaming infant homo stultus to “shhh.”

I was half hoping the Orangutans would sweep up some children and take them back into the wild. They probably have better parenting skills…

J and I high-tailed it out of the park before something crazy went down.

Bottom line: Don’t bring your baby to see WILD APES.

Alternatively titled, “It’s like the zoo, except for real.”

J and I took a trip to Sarawak, Malaysia (aka Borneo) over the long holiday weekend and found ourselves in the middle of Bako National Park. Ok, so we didn’t exactly “find” ourselves there – it was 90 minutes of driving, 30 minutes in a junk boat, and another 2 hours to the park center complete with midday sun, salty sweat and some true grit!

Basically it was amazing and just as exotic as Borneo sounds. While we didn’t see a lot of animals (I’m sure they all saw us), we did see some beautiful forests, beautiful jungles, beautiful beaches, and a whole lotta bugs!

***

Above: The Tajor Waterfall; Below: Taking the junk boat the park

Below: Arriving on the beach at low tide

Below: Preparing for the Telok Tajor hike. Heads up – 4 km takes 2 hours.

Below: Still relatively dry

Below: shrooms, man

Below: On the “trail”

Below: Leaving the protective shade of the forest

Below: Spiky Palm Trees

More posts and pictures from our Borneo adventure to follow! Stay tuned…

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