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Man, the MRT ads are on FIRE this month!

Lao Fo Ye can! Singlish al palo, baby.

At this point my MRT ride wouldn’t be complete without instructions on how to behave on public transportation (aka: love my ride). Now the Burger King chicken is getting in on the action:

I understand the first reference: don’t pretend to sleep so you don’t have to give up your seat to someone who really needs it. Second one is obvious too: don’t lean against the pole and block other people from holding on. Third one? Well, it’s a bit strange, but loud music and smelly farts are equally unpleasant.

But what in the world is the last quote? “Chicken say, commitment is for those without options.”

Seriously, I can’t even think of a witty comment. I’m too confused…

I’m gonna throw it out there: Tamil sounds like gurgling.

Underwater gurgling. Try it – next time you’re in a pool, try to speak underwater as fast as you can and you’ll sound like the lady on the MRT: “bungali bungali bungali gobanachi pulangji.”

In fact, any language you don’t understand has a stereotypical sound. You know what I’m talking about, right? Like the way you would speak a language if you had the intelligence of a 7-year old (read: me). Example:

French: “blah blu ble blah oui oui oo la la”

Italian: “amore mio pasta pasta mamma mia”

Chinese: “ching chong chong chang chong”

Swedish: “yahhhh tak tak fluugety fluugety”

I asked Chloe once how non-native speakers imitate English, and she told me: “If you’re British, you sound like you’re talking with hot soup in your mouth. If you’re American, it sounds like you’re talking with hot rocks in your mouth.” (I see you there, reading this blog post, trying to talk like you have hot rocks in your mouth!”)

But I digress. Back to the gurgling. Tamil may sound a little silly to me, but I’m love this new song. In fact, it took an incredible amount of self-control to refrain from gyrating like a crazy woman on my morning commute.

I dare you to listen to this without bouncing your shoulders. Check it:

Can I just let out one big WTF?  Surely I’m hallucinating.  Or living in the Truman Show.

This new little jingle plays every time the MRT train approaches.  It may be amusing to you now, but at 8am I want to pull. my. hair. out.

“Train is coming, train is coming, train is comiiiiiiiing (please start queuing!) love your ride!”

and if you’re lucky enough to be in the station for more than 3 minutes, you can catch the longer version on the tv screens:

“How Like Dat? It’s rush hour and your face so sour!” That’s right.  It’s rush hour, it’s been a long day at the office, I’m in no mood to be coddled, and your screeching is not making it easy for me to love my ride.

Incidentally, my taxi bill has increased substantially this month.

December 2019
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