Basically all you need to know is (1) that I went to an art exhibit of a bomb, shaped like a boob, and (2) I have the maturity of an 8-year-old…on a good day.

Alright, fine. So it’s not called the Boobbomb. It’s called the Lovebomb. The artist’s (Iskander Walen) intention is that you reflect on “the increasingly graphic depiction of violence in the news media and entertainment, versus the continued taboo of nudity.”

The Singaporean gallery advises visitors that the exhibit is “not suitable for children.”

Ironic? I think so.

     

Man vs. Orangutan? My money’s on the orangutan. Here’s why…

You can’t see Orangutans in the wild anywhere in the world except in Borneo and Sumatra (Indonesia) so J and I took advantage of our location and went to the Semengoh Wildlife Rehabilitation Centre right outside of Kuching, where you can see orangutans rehabilitated back into the wild. Outside of the centre they’re facing extinction due to habitat destruction and “human disruption.”

While I appreciated the unique opportunity to see the orangutans – I must admit I spend the better part of my morning observing the far less intelligent species: the homo sapien. No, I’ll reclassify: the homo stultus (subspecies: touristus).

Folks – when the park guide stops you before you enter the sanctuary (read: not a zoo, there are NO fences here) and gives you the following information:

  • Remain quiet at all times.
  • The orangutans like bags because they know they carry food.
  • Do NOT eat or drink in front of the orangutans.
  • A man went to the hospital on Friday because he tried to fight an orangutan for his bag.
  • If your baby starts to cry – “run” it out of the feeding area.
  • If an orangutan is chasing you, run into an open area.
  • Do not back into a corner. Also – do not freeze. They know you are not a statue.

take heed. J and I were properly scared, but it seemed the park ranger failed to effectively communicate his message to the 30 other fools in the group.

Exhibit A: Observe the homo stultus touristus in his natural habitat – communicating to his mate via mobile phone (ringtone: horrific) while his offspring clanks around the wooden planks in her turquoise kitten heels. To his left, a female homo stultus touristus feeds her offspring apple juice from her Louis Vuitton purse while behind him an asinine woman weakly pleads with her screaming infant homo stultus to “shhh.”

I was half hoping the Orangutans would sweep up some children and take them back into the wild. They probably have better parenting skills…

J and I high-tailed it out of the park before something crazy went down.

Bottom line: Don’t bring your baby to see WILD APES.

Alternatively titled, “It’s like the zoo, except for real.”

J and I took a trip to Sarawak, Malaysia (aka Borneo) over the long holiday weekend and found ourselves in the middle of Bako National Park. Ok, so we didn’t exactly “find” ourselves there – it was 90 minutes of driving, 30 minutes in a junk boat, and another 2 hours to the park center complete with midday sun, salty sweat and some true grit!

Basically it was amazing and just as exotic as Borneo sounds. While we didn’t see a lot of animals (I’m sure they all saw us), we did see some beautiful forests, beautiful jungles, beautiful beaches, and a whole lotta bugs!

***

Above: The Tajor Waterfall; Below: Taking the junk boat the park

Below: Arriving on the beach at low tide

Below: Preparing for the Telok Tajor hike. Heads up – 4 km takes 2 hours.

Below: Still relatively dry

Below: shrooms, man

Below: On the “trail”

Below: Leaving the protective shade of the forest

Below: Spiky Palm Trees

More posts and pictures from our Borneo adventure to follow! Stay tuned…

I don’t listen to a lot of Chinese music, unless it happens to be when I’m in the backseat of a smelly taxi during rush hour, jolting back and forth because Uncle decided to alternately slam the break and gas peddle in 2 second intervals. Combine that situation with the crooning voice of a Chinese woman set to cheesy, high-pitched keyboards, and you have a recipe for distaste.

I decided to ask a sweet colleague of mine for some Chinese music – good Chinese music. Surely she can’t listen to the same stuff my 70 year old cab driver is cranking out?

Well, she gave me a gem: a local artist named JJ Lim whose poppy/jazzy/acoustic melodies appeal to me. I’d thought I’d share the love with everyone else.  Happy Monday!

It’s winding down time (T-39) and there are a few items on my “Singapore Bucket List” including:

  • Go on the Night Safari
  • Visit the Red Dot Museum and Chinese Heritage Center
  • A final bike ride along East Coast Park
  • One last 3am dance party at Attica
  • Sail around the little islands of Singapore
  • Relax for a weekend in Bintan (technically the Indonesian bucket list)
  • Try Laksa – preferably at Katong Laksa
  • BONUS: Taking my picture in the infinity pool at the Marina Bay Sands

Am I missing anything crucial here? Anyone interested in making these things happen?

General elections are on Saturday here, and while I’m too terrified to make any kind of political commentary, I will say that some recent headlines concerning the People’s Action Party are killing me (a la 12-year-old-boy-in-health-class style).

Pap smears…tee hee!

If you’re following the elections you probably already know that the PAP has a totally awesome superhero logo and trucks with loudspeakers that blast “messages” all over the city.  It’s like the Captain Planet of political elections.

And the Democratic party has a star trek logo. Umm… SWEET.

I can’t help but wonder how we got stuck with a donkey and an elephant. Lame, Americans, lame. Let’s get that donkey a cape or something.

Thanks, mom!

My only special request from home...

Besides you, my lovely family and friends, I’m really looking forward to being reunited with my bean grinder and French press. And of course George The Plant.

Yes, I’m the yuppie girl with the bean grinder. And yoga mat. Stop judging…

Accompanied by blogger friend Flora, I finally ate at the popular Taiwanese chain Din Tai Fung – famous for its xiaolongbao (small steamed soup dumplings). While the dumplings were indeed delicious–especially the pork dumplings and red bean dumplings–the highlight of the menu was dessert: the double-boiled papaya and snow fungus soup with rock sugar.

Clearly such an item merits a try, right? Well, apart from the fact that I blurted aloud that it looked like a venereal disease in a pot (more inappropriate jokes followed), we still ate it and survived to tell the tale. In fact, it was rather bland and anti-climactic but the dumplings and appetizers were wonderful enough that I plan on returning here soon.

Pictures: (1) Shrimp & Pork steamed dumplings and Pork steamed dumplings, (2) seaweed peanuts, drunken chicken and hot & sour soup; (3) the infamous dessert.


Step 1: Book a flight to Bali. This should be sufficient. If not, continue to step 2.

Step 2: Find a villa in Seminyak. Ideally it will have a private pool and someone will come to make you breakfast in the morning. It will be cheap because you will have followed my advice on how to book a trip in SE Asia (see here).

Step 3: Capture your joy on film. If you need to pinch yourself, it’s okay.

Step 4: Rent a moto in Candidasa and start driving in the direction of nowhere. When you stop for gas and a Balinese man asks you if you are going to White Sand Beach, just tell him yes.

Step 5: Then figure out how to get to White Sand Beach. You’ll probably drive around lost for a few hours, and local ladies will point and laugh at you, but it’s worth it because the beach looks something like this:

Step 6: Find a little shack where someone will grill you fresh fish in spicy Balinese sauce. Eat it all and wash down with Pineapple juice.

Step 7: Afterwards take a walk in the sunset to digest the fish. This will all feel surreal, but that’s okay -just embrace it. You’ve now achieved happiness.

[If you’ve followed each step as directed, you might be SO happy that you’ll be able to walk on water (see above)].

What should we really take away from this latest and greatest in public health posters?

Clearly the construction worker should not be sitting next to a man with his head on fire. And if you have a saw and/or flower pot spliting your brain open, it might not be the best time to read a first aid pamphlet.

 

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